Is Valentine’s Day really all about romance, gifts, flowers, and sex? All of the commercials say yes. All of my single friends seem to think so too, because they were really sad and downtrodden on Valentine’s Day.
I prefer to think of Valentine’s day as a day of showing love – to whomever we wish. Of course, the primary object of our attention is supposed to be our significant other, but I like to include my closest friends, my children, and my parents.
I must admit, I am an anti-romantic. I don’t believe in making romance. I think it is a byproduct of being thoughtful and loving. I always feel so much pressure when I know that someone is trying to be romantic. It’s a lot of work to be wooed.
This year, I was prepared for the romance, but I got almost none. I did get a gift, but no sex. And I really wanted the sex too. I still haven’t gotten any. That’s life, I guess.
I like original gifts that are a combination of various items that have been individually picked for a specific person. For example, I think that gift cards are usually a cop-out gift. They require little thought or preparation and can be bought at Safeway. That does not show forethought. (However, there are certain occasions for which a gift card is the perfect gift. I will write about that later.)
I gave my partner a gift made of traditional and non-traditional items. There was a box of See’s candy, in a Valentine’s day heart, and a gift certificate for Starbucks – because she really likes Starbucks. I also put in five cheap candy bracelets and five candy necklaces, which I had jokingly told her I would get her for Valentine’s Day. She was delighted to see that I had really made the effort to find them.
In the end, I think that Valentine’s Day is a day where you are mandated to make your lover feel special – in an unselfish way.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Children
I have come to terms with the fact that when it comes to children, no one is really in control. As a parent, I want to believe that I am in control, and, for the most part I am. But, honestly, I can’t really control my little monsters. They are their own unique creatures, with surprising gumption for people under three feet tall.
My daughter, who is six years old and deaf, has always been a grown woman. She has the attitude, the control issues, and even the rage of a Black woman who has survived to maturity. I don’t understand it, but I accept this because I have no choice.
My little boy, who just turned two, has taken to hitting me and them pointing his barely more than one inch long finger and me and saying, "Shut up!" Hey – he doesn’t get that from me. I am not sure where it comes from. At first I thought that it was so cute, then I realized that I was falling into that old parenting trap. When our kids are little and cute, most of the things they do are little and cute. So, my son’s little "shut up" threat, out of the blue, is adorable – until he becomes a teenager who is taller than me and able to really put some power behind his threat.
So, I have to chose if I will stop him now, while he is still tiny and a firm, "You do not say that – Shut up is not nice" will do, or later, when I may end up in prison or in the hospital. I chose to act now.
I cannot be one of those parents on Nanny 911, crying because my toddler is spitting in my face and swearing at me. Hell no! They waited too long. In their kids minds, the rules are set and their parents are play things.
As you may guess, the ghettoshique style of parenting takes a more hands on approach. From birth, kids need to be taught what is right and wrong and given appropriate consequences. I’m not saying "spare the rod, spoil the child." What I am saying is that kids have parents for a reason, otherwise we would be like spiders and just let our young free from birth. Kids need to be molded into people who can function independently in the real world. Any parent can tell you that kids are not here to serve our needs. But, we are here to serve theirs. In that vein, we are not serving our children well by being their friends and not their parents. We do them no justice when we do not teach them the hard lessons that the world will teach them with much less kindness and love.
So, I appreciate the wonder of my little ones and try to guide them in a positive, fulfilling direction. In the end, who knows what will happen. All I know is, I will give my children the tools they need to navigate the world as they seek their destinies.
My daughter, who is six years old and deaf, has always been a grown woman. She has the attitude, the control issues, and even the rage of a Black woman who has survived to maturity. I don’t understand it, but I accept this because I have no choice.
My little boy, who just turned two, has taken to hitting me and them pointing his barely more than one inch long finger and me and saying, "Shut up!" Hey – he doesn’t get that from me. I am not sure where it comes from. At first I thought that it was so cute, then I realized that I was falling into that old parenting trap. When our kids are little and cute, most of the things they do are little and cute. So, my son’s little "shut up" threat, out of the blue, is adorable – until he becomes a teenager who is taller than me and able to really put some power behind his threat.
So, I have to chose if I will stop him now, while he is still tiny and a firm, "You do not say that – Shut up is not nice" will do, or later, when I may end up in prison or in the hospital. I chose to act now.
I cannot be one of those parents on Nanny 911, crying because my toddler is spitting in my face and swearing at me. Hell no! They waited too long. In their kids minds, the rules are set and their parents are play things.
As you may guess, the ghettoshique style of parenting takes a more hands on approach. From birth, kids need to be taught what is right and wrong and given appropriate consequences. I’m not saying "spare the rod, spoil the child." What I am saying is that kids have parents for a reason, otherwise we would be like spiders and just let our young free from birth. Kids need to be molded into people who can function independently in the real world. Any parent can tell you that kids are not here to serve our needs. But, we are here to serve theirs. In that vein, we are not serving our children well by being their friends and not their parents. We do them no justice when we do not teach them the hard lessons that the world will teach them with much less kindness and love.
So, I appreciate the wonder of my little ones and try to guide them in a positive, fulfilling direction. In the end, who knows what will happen. All I know is, I will give my children the tools they need to navigate the world as they seek their destinies.
Saturday, February 3, 2007
Today
You know how people always say that today is the first day of the rest of your life? Well, I guess it’s true, but then does that mean that everyday you start everything anew? For example, we all make New Years resolutions because the new year is a good time to start to break old habits and make new ones. Then we can say things like, "I decided that 2007 was the year that I would stop getting drunk every night." But, within weeks, we are laying on the cool, soothing bathroom floor, wishing our insides would stop forcing themselves out.
My point? Today really is a new day, but not completely new. It’s like a "new" jacket from the thrift store. It’s new to you, but it still has on it residue from the past. That does not mean that we should not take that jacket home, clean it up, and wear it with our best pair of jeans, right?
So, today, I am gonna try this: I am going to look at my goals, both short and long term, and see how my life is furthering or hindering my progress in meeting those goals.
I have already realized that eating breakfast at my favorite fast food place everyday is not really gonna help me fit into those cute too-small clothes that live in my bottom drawer. And, it also won’t help me pay off my enormous debts. Therefore, I am taking time to make some oatmeal at home this morning.
We have to start with little things, in our own lives. Then we can move on to correcting larger mistakes and wrongs, with ourselves and our worlds.
Let’s challenge ourselves today to make ourselves just a little bit healthier or happier.
My point? Today really is a new day, but not completely new. It’s like a "new" jacket from the thrift store. It’s new to you, but it still has on it residue from the past. That does not mean that we should not take that jacket home, clean it up, and wear it with our best pair of jeans, right?
So, today, I am gonna try this: I am going to look at my goals, both short and long term, and see how my life is furthering or hindering my progress in meeting those goals.
I have already realized that eating breakfast at my favorite fast food place everyday is not really gonna help me fit into those cute too-small clothes that live in my bottom drawer. And, it also won’t help me pay off my enormous debts. Therefore, I am taking time to make some oatmeal at home this morning.
We have to start with little things, in our own lives. Then we can move on to correcting larger mistakes and wrongs, with ourselves and our worlds.
Let’s challenge ourselves today to make ourselves just a little bit healthier or happier.
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