Children

I have come to terms with the fact that when it comes to children, no one is really in control. As a parent, I want to believe that I am in control, and, for the most part I am. But, honestly, I can’t really control my little monsters. They are their own unique creatures, with surprising gumption for people under three feet tall.
My daughter, who is six years old and deaf, has always been a grown woman. She has the attitude, the control issues, and even the rage of a Black woman who has survived to maturity. I don’t understand it, but I accept this because I have no choice.
My little boy, who just turned two, has taken to hitting me and them pointing his barely more than one inch long finger and me and saying, "Shut up!" Hey – he doesn’t get that from me. I am not sure where it comes from. At first I thought that it was so cute, then I realized that I was falling into that old parenting trap. When our kids are little and cute, most of the things they do are little and cute. So, my son’s little "shut up" threat, out of the blue, is adorable – until he becomes a teenager who is taller than me and able to really put some power behind his threat.
So, I have to chose if I will stop him now, while he is still tiny and a firm, "You do not say that – Shut up is not nice" will do, or later, when I may end up in prison or in the hospital. I chose to act now.
I cannot be one of those parents on Nanny 911, crying because my toddler is spitting in my face and swearing at me. Hell no! They waited too long. In their kids minds, the rules are set and their parents are play things.
As you may guess, the ghettoshique style of parenting takes a more hands on approach. From birth, kids need to be taught what is right and wrong and given appropriate consequences. I’m not saying "spare the rod, spoil the child." What I am saying is that kids have parents for a reason, otherwise we would be like spiders and just let our young free from birth. Kids need to be molded into people who can function independently in the real world. Any parent can tell you that kids are not here to serve our needs. But, we are here to serve theirs. In that vein, we are not serving our children well by being their friends and not their parents. We do them no justice when we do not teach them the hard lessons that the world will teach them with much less kindness and love.
So, I appreciate the wonder of my little ones and try to guide them in a positive, fulfilling direction. In the end, who knows what will happen. All I know is, I will give my children the tools they need to navigate the world as they seek their destinies.